A day in the Life, Of a MOM

The Day in the LIFE, Of a MOM:

Is are work ever done? Do we ever get to say, I don't want to... I am to tired. I want to go play. I would rather play the game. I don't have to. Or better yet, I will tell Grandma and she will let me !
My Daughter is 10 years old, And I remember being 10. I would never get a way with rolling my eye's stomping up the steps. And screaming I hate you! Or I hate living here! My youngest son is 8. He thinks that he is grown. And can do what he wants , when and where he feels fit to do so. And when you correct him, Well he will just sit there and smile at you. Nothing fazes this kid, Its like he was raised in the ARMY. And has no worry's like he dose not care if we send him to his room, or take the game a way. He will just sit there and smile at you. The Oldest, Well lets see. He is 15. He has a GIRLFRIEND. And he just started having SEX. I was so upset. I think I was more heart broken then anything. I really thought my son was going to be different then his dad, and I. I thought he was smarter then we were. And I hoped that he would of had it in him, To at least wait until he was a little older, and he met someone that he really was in love with. Though he says, he is in love now. I don't know. Maybe he is. The thing that has me the most up set is this though. I mean him having sex was heart breaking. But his Grades have dropped. He has never been one to talk back to me. Or even say something mean. He was always the one that would get upset if the the younger two said something to me mean. He got smart me with and raised his voice for the first time about three weeks ago. I was so in shock I could not say anything! I just sat there. And when it had sunk in, I said to him. O no do your friends talk to there moms like that ? Or do you get told by the teachers you should get smart with your mom ? He had no clue that I was really hurt though. I felt like he really took my heart and stomped on it. I know he loves me, and respects me. But man did that hurt.

I have always wanted to be a mom. For as long as I can remember. And I never in a million years could regret anything that I go through with my children. Every day, Each minute, Every tear, or Laugh has been a blessing. I know God has giving me three gifts that I could never repay him for. He has shown me what it feels like to be really loved. And to really love someone in return. I came from a broken home. With a mom who was super young when she had us. So she did drugs , parted, Had a new man over all the time. never cared much about us. And being the only girl of two older brothers. I was lonely all the time. When I got older, Around the age of 11 or even 13 my mom got clean and changed her ways . Started going to church. And being A mom. But at this point I did not need a mom. I had raised myself. So I was confused, Angry, hurt, mad. And I wanted to run through the streets screaming why do you care now ! And not when your dam male friends would come in my room at night while you were past out ! Or what about when I was being held against my own will be 6 older men who tried to rape me and my two friends. How about the time I got pregnant at 15 and miscarried. You told me to leave your home I was living with a grown man at the age of 14. I was lost and needed a mom. I needed someone to tell me I deserved better. That I was not a slut. Or a nasty person. I needed a mother to hug me and tell me she loved me. Not tell me that I am worthless, and that you wish you never had a girl. That you never wanted a girl any ways. Or that you should of gave me to Aunt Shirley or Aunt Becky. And now you say I am a BAD MOM when you get mad at me. You say some hurtful things to me. And though I may not be the best mom. I try. I try with every thing in my soul to be the mother I wanted and never had. I look at my three children, and I know in my heart that everything I do. And will do. I will do it for them. Not a drug, not a man, Not for the hell of it. But for the LOVE I have in my heart for them. I wish you had seen the GIFT god gave you when we were little. I love you. I do. I will always LOVE my Mother. She is after all the person who gave me life. And she is a good mother now. I just often wish I could tell her that she needed to be that then. I wish I had a mom when I was young and needed it so badly. I still need my mom. She is now my best friend. We are very close. And I don't hold grudges. At least I try not to. I just wish I could tell her how bad her actions have hurt me. And how they have made me the person I am now. I hate to be alone. I don't trust, I cant sleep through the night, I always feel that when things are going good that the world is going to crash around me. I cant be happy for the fear that something bad will run up and snatch it away like a thief in the night. I just wish for one minute you could see the pain in my heart and soul. Then you would know why , and how I became the Mother, friend, Lover, Sister, Cousin, animal loving Me.

So the next time you think, That your a BAD mom. Or that you wish You did not have to deal with this or that, Think of this..... Are children, are blessings. They are the little gifts that stick to your soul and heart for the rest of your life. They will make your cry, They will brake your heart. But they will also give you ever lasting love. And that means more then any tear you can ever cry.

Counting my Blessing Daily.
Patty Mosso